English Nor Winglish! A Grammar Nazi’s Sightings Of The World

Travel by far is the most looked forward experience and even though our excitement is at peak, we do get limited by boundaries of language and communication. The vastness of travelling this Earth many a times finds a common thread in English language which keeps us all on the same plane. But the Queen’s language is often twisted and bent to suit whichever country lays their hands on it. A few nuggets of funny and hilarious Sign boards found across the globe, each invoking laughter as the sheer naivete of it all.

Oh, the lure of setting foot on foreign lands, of experiencing the old and new. What binds this globe together is probably spoken English but known to few,

How don’t you let out a chuckle when a hotel in Yugoslavia claims

“The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.”

The helpful staff in this Vienna inn seems ready with buckets of water

As they announce “In case of fire, do your best to alarm the hotel porter.”

When is Rome do as they do, an oft heard phrase since the bells chimed

“Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.”

Pardon me for giving this Acapulco hotel a miss all filled with fear

“The manager has personally passed all the water served here.”

I guess this tailor in Hong Kong dolls up girls shiny and bright

“Dresses for street walking.” Doesn’t it set blinking all red lights!!

The temple in Bangkok makes it clear, highlighting all that it can

“It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.” 

Tokyo being the city of manners, show pedigree all decent and well bred

“Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.”

But the innkeeper in Japan seems most broadminded and staid

“You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.“

Thailand no doubt lives up to it’s USP of selling all kinds of brass

As the donkey ride sign pitches, “Would you like to ride on your own ass”

If travelling by Copenhagen airlines make sure you pay attention

They happily announce “We take your bags and send them in all directions”

English language no doubt is diverse and binds us all together, I’d still go out there as a foreigner and gather whatever it has to offer!




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